Writer

About a week ago, my dad asked me if I'd ever consider writing a book. It's not the first time that someone has asked me something like that. I don't really know if I'd be able to but I would love to.

Christmas

I've really been feeling lonely the past few days. The Christmas period would be hard, I knew that. Especially since there were the traditional family drinks yesterday that I was hoping to have someone to bring to for the first time. That felt like crap. Still being alone while my younger cousins are bringing their other halves. I hate it. It makes me miss her more than I have in a while. I've been thinking about her less and less since we haven't been talking a lot. But the past few days have been filled with thoughts of her. Wondering and wondering.

I just don't know

We haven't spoken in about 5 days. After having a fairly serious and open conversation I thought that I left the ball in her court. However it seems that either she doesn't see it that way (unlikely) or she simply does not want to talk to me (extremely likely). 

I am not sure what to do in this situation. I'm inclined to tell myself that it is time to move on but it's hard to do that when I haven't gotten the definite answer I need. I want for her to tell me that there is no chance that we will be getting back together but she hasn't been able to give me that yet. I need to hear that so I can stop waiting, hoping and thinking about her. Or at least try.

Nights like these are so difficult because 1) it's the weekend and that's when we spent a lot of our time together and 2) I fear the news that she has met someone else. I know that she will find someone before I do. This fear that I have of hearing that she found someone makes me so sad and unhappy that I cannot sleep but for thinking about her with someone else.

Someone who can give her whatever it was that was missing.

Mr. Cellophane

I've been feeling inconsequential the past few days. What triggered it was a particularly bad walk to the DART station the other morning. 

Firstly, there were two women, each with buggies, walking towards me one behind the other. There is really only enough room for two people abreast on the path. The woman in front then noticed that there was a woman behind her trying to get by. In order to let her by, the woman in front veered her buggie quite suddenly into my path, cutting me off, about a foot in front of me. I mean seriously??!! 

Then further along on my way to the DART station I was crossing a road onto another narrow path and the person walking a few feet behind me crossed too. They were walking faster than I was so I kept to one edge of the path when I crossed the road so as to let them pass me. Instead of walking on the other side of me to pass me out, they walked directly towards me, forcing me off the path and onto the thankfully empty road. They then proceeded to walk on the side that I was intending to walk on. WTF??!!

In summary I felt like I really didn't matter all that day and the next. Thinking about it now makes me feel invisible. 

Utter crap

I just watched a movie called "My Summer in Love". Firstly, I have to admit that the main reason I wanted to watch it was because Emily Blunt is in it. However this is not a redeeming factor for this film.

Why are nearly all lesbian movies just so so bad? It seems to me like it's almost a requirement for the story to be silly and unrealistic and the writing to be even worse.

Oh well, at least I got to see Emily Blunt's boobs :) TWICE!

Making me feel feelings

Both of these came on pretty close to one another on iTunes. I have it on shuffle.

This one makes me a lot sadder than the first one.

:(

Would like some of these please

That Couple

I always thought we'd be one of those couples. You know, the ones that work so well together. The ones that you couldn't ever see not being together. I guess we were for a while but that while wasn't long enough for me.

Well...

It wasn't as hard as I expected it to be. I was able to talk to her and not feel too sad. It was not easy though. I kept wanting to touch her or hug her but I expected that. It's almost a reflex to want to do that.

At least I've seen her now so it should be better from now on.