Agreed

“When I say “I love you,” its not because I want you or because I can’t have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, and how you try. I’ve seen your kindness and your strength. I’ve seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what and who you are.”

—	Joss Whedon

Feelin' Good :)

I was told I'm a life changing person today. It's not the first time this wonderful girl has said it to me, and I'll never forget that she said that.

Writer

About a week ago, my dad asked me if I'd ever consider writing a book. It's not the first time that someone has asked me something like that. I don't really know if I'd be able to but I would love to.

Christmas

I've really been feeling lonely the past few days. The Christmas period would be hard, I knew that. Especially since there were the traditional family drinks yesterday that I was hoping to have someone to bring to for the first time. That felt like crap. Still being alone while my younger cousins are bringing their other halves. I hate it. It makes me miss her more than I have in a while. I've been thinking about her less and less since we haven't been talking a lot. But the past few days have been filled with thoughts of her. Wondering and wondering.

I just don't know

We haven't spoken in about 5 days. After having a fairly serious and open conversation I thought that I left the ball in her court. However it seems that either she doesn't see it that way (unlikely) or she simply does not want to talk to me (extremely likely). 

I am not sure what to do in this situation. I'm inclined to tell myself that it is time to move on but it's hard to do that when I haven't gotten the definite answer I need. I want for her to tell me that there is no chance that we will be getting back together but she hasn't been able to give me that yet. I need to hear that so I can stop waiting, hoping and thinking about her. Or at least try.

Nights like these are so difficult because 1) it's the weekend and that's when we spent a lot of our time together and 2) I fear the news that she has met someone else. I know that she will find someone before I do. This fear that I have of hearing that she found someone makes me so sad and unhappy that I cannot sleep but for thinking about her with someone else.

Someone who can give her whatever it was that was missing.

Mr. Cellophane

I've been feeling inconsequential the past few days. What triggered it was a particularly bad walk to the DART station the other morning. 

Firstly, there were two women, each with buggies, walking towards me one behind the other. There is really only enough room for two people abreast on the path. The woman in front then noticed that there was a woman behind her trying to get by. In order to let her by, the woman in front veered her buggie quite suddenly into my path, cutting me off, about a foot in front of me. I mean seriously??!! 

Then further along on my way to the DART station I was crossing a road onto another narrow path and the person walking a few feet behind me crossed too. They were walking faster than I was so I kept to one edge of the path when I crossed the road so as to let them pass me. Instead of walking on the other side of me to pass me out, they walked directly towards me, forcing me off the path and onto the thankfully empty road. They then proceeded to walk on the side that I was intending to walk on. WTF??!!

In summary I felt like I really didn't matter all that day and the next. Thinking about it now makes me feel invisible. 

Utter crap

I just watched a movie called "My Summer in Love". Firstly, I have to admit that the main reason I wanted to watch it was because Emily Blunt is in it. However this is not a redeeming factor for this film.

Why are nearly all lesbian movies just so so bad? It seems to me like it's almost a requirement for the story to be silly and unrealistic and the writing to be even worse.

Oh well, at least I got to see Emily Blunt's boobs :) TWICE!

Making me feel feelings

Both of these came on pretty close to one another on iTunes. I have it on shuffle.

This one makes me a lot sadder than the first one.

:(

Would like some of these please

That Couple

I always thought we'd be one of those couples. You know, the ones that work so well together. The ones that you couldn't ever see not being together. I guess we were for a while but that while wasn't long enough for me.

Well...

It wasn't as hard as I expected it to be. I was able to talk to her and not feel too sad. It was not easy though. I kept wanting to touch her or hug her but I expected that. It's almost a reflex to want to do that.

At least I've seen her now so it should be better from now on.

Sinking

The whole situation seems to be really sinking in this weekend. I knew it would. I knew this weekend would be hard for me to get through. I'm glad I had to work both days, it kept me semi-distracted. People were coming in with hair like hers and I thought too many times that she had come in.

This feels like it was the longest week in history.

Sleep

Can't sleep now, my brain is too active. I haven't cried since Tuesday and I think I need to. I can feel it coming on.

Hopefully if I let myself cry I'll be able to get to sleep sooner.

I feel so tired all the time now, it's horrible. I don't think I've been sleeping well since Sunday.

I just feel so grateful to have my friends around me at times like this. Don't know what I would have done without them. I'd probably just have not left my room.

I hate this

Since Monday I have not been able to talk to the person that I most want to talk to. I have no idea how long I should wait before I can talk to her again. I'm not even sure if she ever wants to talk to me again. I hate not knowing what she is feeling at the moment, but most of all I just hate not talking to her. Listening to what happened to her during her day was the best part of my day. I miss everything about her.

I hate this so much.

Passionately Red

Just a post to let the void know that the past 6, nearly 7 months have been the happiest of my life. For this I thank the prettiest flower of all.

Eargasm

I've been so busy for the past few months that it's been a while since I sat down and just chilled to music. I have rediscovered songs and artists that I love and make me unashamedly happy. For this I thank my lovely :)

Funny Day @ Work

So it was the 3rd anniversary of the 1st day that my work place opened to the public. To celebrate, the cleaning lady made some chocolate biscuit cake which was iced (Heaven in cake form, I assure you) and we ate some in the office. While the pieces were being passed around someone said "Oh no, I'm not really in the mood for cake", to which I replied "I didn't even know there was such a thing as cake mood, I thought it was just when you were, you know, awake". I amuse myself.

After eating our slices of deliciousness, my wonderfully hilarious flat mate says "Oh I forgot about my friend Later, can I bring some home for Later?". He amuses me greatly.

Norge/Noreg?

According to the stats thing on Blogger, I had 1 view from Norway...how bizarre...

Men being useful

I was made laugh out loud many times this evening by what men wrote...

Maybe they do have a use after all...

Story Time with Shaun

Thanks to Shaun Gray for this :)


It was a cold, dark January night. The post-Christmas blues had settled in and everyone was weary through to their core. Louise, unable to sleep due to the excitement of her first big move, was lying in her bed; her hands slowly turning crimson, her lips fading to blue, her feet as numb as a banker's wallet.

As she lay there, slowly turning into a human popsicle, she heard a peculiar sound outside her window. Tentatively she ached across the room to peer out the blind. When suddenly behind her na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na BLANKET MAN!! Warmth like this had not been felt for what seemed an age - since the end of that day we Irish call summer.